Mommy Meltdown

Today…today has been A DAY. Do you ever have those days where your anxiety is just like ‘Ha ha, we’re in my world today sucker!’?

Well I do. And usually I can fight through them with a lot of distraction and keeping busy, but today has been a whole different story.

I’m fairly sure Greyson has a sixth sense for days when I am feeling this way. Today started with a meltdown over eggs. His meltdown, not mine – that came later. My usual egg-loving son refused to eat his scrambled eggs for breakfast. And the peanut butter toast I offered after that. Only when I sat down to eat an English muffin did he decide he wanted my breakfast to eat…so I made a second one for myself – which he ate as well.

I made a THIRD English muffin and ate it hiding in the downstairs bathroom. I have heard of moms hiding places to eat food so their kids didn’t see, but this was my first experience…oiy.

We then spent an hour (I kid you not) sitting in his teepee and me repeatedly pressing the ‘on’ button for one of his fire trucks that has dying batteries. The sound of the pathetic siren dwindling down on its last battery juice is still stuck in my head.

When it was finally nap time (hallelujah!), I took the fastest shower on record, had a pity party and possibly shed a few tears while drying my hair and slapped some makeup on my face.

I had roughly 30 minutes at this point to get everything I needed to get done while Greyson napped. I was in turbo mode – I wanted just FIVE minutes to meditate and practice some mindfulness in silence and to try to pull this not so happy day out of the toilet.

Just as I was taping up my last box of jewelry for a friend to borrow (check out my link if you are curious about my job!) I heard a tiny voice on the monitor…sigh. So much for mommy’s quiet time.

Next up: grocery store to get food for dinner and a bottle of vodka for mom (I kid I kid!) I tried lifting Greyson into the cart – always a feat because I’m short, a wimp, and he weighs nearly 30 pounds – and he did the whole straighten his legs and refuse to sit down while screaming ‘no no no’. I handed him my car keys (what is with kids and car keys?) and distracted him enough to get him seated and belted in.

I foolishly thought to myself ‘Ok…we’re good, deep breaths and we will be out of here in no time!’ We zoomed around the store and I even stuck to ONLY the items on my grocery list!

Right before heading to the checkout line, I looked down and realized that Greyson didn’t have my keys anymore. They weren’t on the floor, in the aisle behind us or in the cart. So…we carefully backtracked to every section we had been in until I thankfully found my keys on top of some organic bok choy in the produce section. At this point, I was fantasizing about the xanax I was going to take when Greyson went down for his second nap.

I ended up with two extra items on the checkout belt because toddlers seriously have about as many hands as a kleptomaniac octopus and FINALLY we were paid up and ready to go.

While I pushed my little guy back towards the parking lot, I saw a black SUV with its back trunk door hanging wide open. YES, it was my car and it had been sitting like that the entire time I was in the store – Greyson must have pushed the latch button during our struggle to get him to sit in the cart after I gave him my car keys. Greyson 2, mom 0 for this grocery store visit.

I stopped at Tim Horton’s for a large double double (coffee is my drug of choice, ha) and the sweet girl working the drive thru told me I looked very pretty today. I busted out crying and told her thank you. And now I must find a new Tim’s because I am the crazy lady who cried after she complimented me…we finally headed home.

Now for Round 2 of what will my child decide to eat today. We tried peanut butter and jelly, Mac and cheese, string cheese and finally goldfish. Nothing. Sometimes I wonder how toddlers even grow with their weird and picky eating habits. I took a deep breath and let it go. I sat on the couch and cried, again. This blog post should have been titled ‘The Day I Bawled My Eyes Out Over Everything.’

Now this is where my day finally began to level out. My sweet boy crawled into my lap and snuggled up against my chin. He cuddled up with me for a good 30 minutes – record cuddling time for Greyson – and I felt my heart rate slow and my tears gradually stopped. My heart expanded to exploding with the love I have for this little boy. I guess he has a sixth sense for when I need some affection too. And so it goes with life and a toddler. Ups and downs, but the most intense, true and all-consuming love you will ever know.

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