Rolling With It
What do you do when everything you know to combat you anxiety doesn’t work??? You ride it out.
Yup, I said it. You ride it out and you deal. This move has really thrown me for a loop. Our new house in PA and current house in NE close on the same day – in two different states, we bought a new car which needs to be registered in NE (did I mention that registration costs upwards of $600 EVERY YEAR?! Coming from WA where this is a less than $40 charge I am still completely in shock that it costs this much – what the heck Nebraska?!) but we will only be here for less than a month, all my Botox treatments have to be figured out and a new doctor found…the list goes on and on. When I sit and think rationally (not something I excel at), I know things will be ok and it could be worse! It could be so much worse, but my anxiety likes to chime in and whisper ‘freak out, it’s panic time!’ I hate that little voice.
I haven’t been able to sit still – I KNOW some of you know that feeling…it drives me crazy. I need to be doing something at all times. While this should be a positive thing motivating me to get some things packed and cleaned – it freezes me up. And quite obviously packing is not something that sounds fun, ha. Soooo to the chagrin of my husband, I usually end up shopping. That seems to be my quick fix band-aid for my anxiety. As ridiculous as that is – and expensive (sorry husband).
I’m slowly beginning to accept that I will most likely live with anxiety forever. There is no quick fix, magic pill, or secret that will fix it. My brain is just wired this way. My goal is to figure out how to ride out these waves. I may very well be the most impatient person I know and this is a struggle for me. I want an answer, a quick fix and some relief…but that isn’t always how life works.
In the meantime, I’ve been having some major EDM dance parties with Greyson (he must have been listening to, and enjoying, mommy’s music taste while still in the womb)! I should probably be outside exercising but it is WAY too hot for that right now. So for now, we dance our cares away…