I just wanted to take a moment to thank each and every one of you that read this little blog of mine, every one of you reading means the world to me. It’s not easy sharing personal struggles, but for me, this blog has been so cathartic – a total release of some of the pent up energy and worry that comes along with GAD. I want you guys to see the good and the bad, because that’s how life goes – no one is perfect and our lives ebb and flow with positive and negative. It’s finding the balance and the bliss in that ride that is my foremost goal. We spend our lives comparing and critiquing every else’s ‘perfect’ social media lives. But the majority of people don’t share the ‘real’ just the ‘best of’ highlights. Remember that.
I’m not a sugar coater and want to be as real and transparent as possible. Awareness and acceptance of anxiety and depression is a cause that I am so passionate about. I know I’m one of millions that suffer, and I hope I can be a small shining light for anyone feeling ashamed or is just not ready to open up. I used to feel completely alone in my anxiety. I didn’t feel like anyone could understand what I was going through and that feeling is so isolating. Since I’ve opened up and shared my struggles, it’s been so freeing. I’m no longer ashamed, and my anxiety doesn’t have the same hold on me as it did before.
That all being said, I’ve been suffering from some of the worst anxiety I’ve had in a long time. As I mentioned in my last post, we are moving, have a house we are in the process of buying in PA and trying to sell our home here in Lincoln. It’s amazing how much junk one family can acquire in just two years in a tiny house! Part of me wants to just rent a dumpster and throw it all away. Clutter gives me anxiety, packing gives me anxiety and my anxiety is giving me anxiety right now. It’s not fun. But you know what, I know it will subside eventually. I know that the ton of pressure in my chest, and the feeling like I could crawl out of my own skin WILL go away. It may take a few weeks, or a month, but I am confident I will feel better.
For now, I’m relying on staying busy (not difficult ha!), remembering to breath and keeping in mind that nothing is permanent. I’m giving myself permission to veg on the couch if that’s what I feel like I need. Give yourself grace, forgive yourself for things you can’t control and remember that there are days ahead that don’t involve crazy anxiety.